Hey,

A few weeks ago, I was standing in the corner of a Chamber of Commerce event, and I felt myself starting to do that thing where I pull my phone out and pretend something is really important because I was afraid to start a conversation.

I am nearly 20 years into owning a business, I have helped 1000+ clients at this point, I speak on stages, I am active on social media ---> and I still freaking feel this anxiety of networking. Why?!

I guess I just want to normalize that I am not some networking superstar even though I attend events regularly. I have to work at it and be intentional about it (TLDR, skip to the networking tips below)

In that moment, I reminded myself how ridiculous I feel when I walk away from something (that I was excited about) without doing what I know I am capable of.

I know how important relationships are to my business. This year I have made a goal of getting connected in new circles, and speaking to new communities, and I was there to build new relationships, period. It was essentially my only goal that day.

I reluctantly... put my phone in my pocket, walked up to three women by the coffee, and said... "I know it's a little awkward to walk into your conversation, but I gueeesssss that's why we are here, right? I am Lauren! Tell me about what you do!" **smiley eye roll.**

We ended up talking about her HVAC business and how she needs social media help but doesnt have time. She referred me to her sister-in-law, who runs an insurance business and needs marketing consulting, and I have a couple of calls on my calendar for next week.

I know a lot of us lost the muscle for this somewhere around... oh I don't know... 2020ish.

It's been years now of DMs and comment sections and Zoom calls where you know exactly who's there and the facilitation is forced...

And I find that it has been feeling extra weird to stand next to a stranger with a sticky name tag, half-peeling off my shirt, getting stuck in my hair. (THE WORST!)

It feels like starting from scratch. So I wrote down a bunch of things that have helped me.

Here are a few things that have actually worked for me lately in networking:

Ahead of time, I note what audience I am walking into.

Probably my most important tip. Sometimes how I offer what I offer changes based on the room I'm in. Doing groundwork of thinking about this ahead of time helps me when I get to the room.

I think about one line I can use to start a conversation.

I really can't tell you how much it helps to think of "a line." for that room. Thinking of this on the commute there takes the pressure off of me in real time. Something like "What made you sign up for this event? How do you know the organizer?" or the "I know this is awkward" line I used above.

I ask deeper questions.

At that the chamber event, I asked a guy what his biggest headache was after he said "oh you might be able to help me..." and instead of jumping in with a solution, I said "Can you tell me more specifics about ______." Now I actually understand his problem instead of assuming I do.

I keep a note in my phone for after the event.

I will add someone's name and one detail under a heading for that event in a note in my phone. It's saved me more than once when running into someone months later. Of course, you can add this to whatever tracker you use later if you do, or just keep it in your phone.

When I reach out on LinkedIn or Instagram post-event, I also reference something we talked about in our last conversation. I do this 1.) to share that I care about our conversation, but 2.) also for my own record if we meet later and I need to fire up my memory.

I really do follow up.

After the event, I will go sit in a coffee shop or bar if I am traveling (in this case, last week, I drove down to a pretty viewing spot of the Rock River) and go through the business cards I was handed and add them on LinkedIn. I send a message (and an email if I have their card) like, "It was great talking about..." and that "I hope to stay connected" with them. I like a few pieces of their content and genuinely try to stay connected!

In the end... every real opportunity I've had in this business traces back to an actual conversation with an actual person.

You can also download these tips as a one-page cheat sheet.

If you want to try any of these tips in real life:

I'm speaking this Thursday, August 13th, at (FREE) Small Talk Chicago.

Small Talk: Big Conversations for Small Businesses, a community event hosted by FreshBooks that's bringing together local founders, freelancers, and entrepreneurs for a day of real stories, practical advice, (headshots) and connections in a super cool location.

☕️ Free coffee, community, and conversations that matter.

📍 Guild Row, 3130 N Rockwell St, Chicago, IL 60618

📆 August 13, 10 am - 2 pm

​RESERVE YOUR FREE SPOT NOW​

Will you come? I would love to connect with you!

Lauren V. Davis ​P.S. If you are curious what it is like to work together, feel free to see what my clients say Let's be real friends on social media! Add me on Linkedin or Instagram, and say hello!

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